Best of SuperTodd
by supertodd
Summary: Baby ruth Day Perfect Sense Dear Santa Protection
1. Baby Ruth Day

Baby Ruth Day

It was a blistering hot August afternoon, and there was no logical way to beat the heat. The best idea was to jump into the refrigerator, but that can cause certain problems. I decided to take the matter into my own hands. I tied my towel around my neck, to block the sun from burning me. I also gave birth to SuperTodd.

1:30 pm came around, and it was time to let the swarms of kids into the pool. There were three buses outside the gate, frantically waiting to unload the rambunctious kids for a few hours. Another bus was pulling in, and there was a group walking. We could tell this was going to be a busy day.

This was going to be the last time many of us saw these kids, for the swimming season was close to ending for us. This would be the last time we got to play with them. Then the perfect idea stuck me. What better way to end the season, than with Baby Ruth Day '97. I talked it over with the other guards, and they all seemed to like the idea. The only question was who was going to perform the task? We all came to the agreement that I should. Aside from Baby Ruth Day '97 being my idea, I related the best with these kids. If I wasn't parading around as SuperTodd, you could always find me in the water with them while I was on my break.

We decided to buy our delectable little treat out of the vending machine from the pool's cash register. Once we had it in our hands, we had to somehow put the bar in the pool, and do so without being noticed. For that, we nominated James to jump in, and "swim some laps." He did that brilliantly and with.

We let the candy bar float around to see if anyone would notice it. Fifteen minutes later, it was discovered. There were only two steps in Baby Ruth Day. One was to get it in the water. The other was getting it out, but that is where the fun is.

I hung out in the back, preparing myself. I quickly became SuperTodd, but I was wearing more apparel this time. I had a bright orange snorkel, with a neon pink mask. I had swimming fins on, and I was carrying a tremendously large fishing net. At the same time, the pool was being evacuated. Who would want to swim in a "contaminated" pool?

I stepped out for the show of the summer. As I waddled around the pool, not a face wasn't laughing, which includes myself. I don't know how ducks do it, but I finally got to the site of the candy. At that point, I took my cape off, and gave it to the kid standing there, so it didn't get wet. I leaped into the water, and swam around a little bit. Although it was clearly right in front of me, I yelled "False alarm! You can get back in." Not a foot moved. One kid points at me, and said "what is that?" I shrieked in terror, and tried to get out as fast as I could. Again, waves of laughter rang throughout the pool. I slowly paced over to the floating log, and "unsuccessfully" tried to scope it up with the net. Next, I took the net off, and scooped it up without the long pole. Then I got out as fast as I could.

Still with my armor on, I waddled around the pool, showing everyone what I had captured. Many kids wondered what it was, and others thought they knew. Then, I stopped and stared at my net for about a minute. A hush came over the pool. I then yelled "It looks like poop." I showed it around a bit more, and stopped again. After sniffing it, I yelled "It smells like poop too."

By this time, half of the crowd was either laughing hysterically, or disgusted. I walked up to where a large crowd of the kids were standing. Reached in, and pulled out whatever it was in my net. Then I bit it. "Hey, it tastes like poop too." All the kids yelled "Ewww" in unison. "Wanna try some," I asked the group around me. None took the offer. I turned to James, who was right there, and asked him. He took a bite, and said "I think it needs more pepper."

For the rest of the day, kids kept coming up top me asking if it was really poop. I gave them a simple answer. I said "I'm SuperTodd. I have a very powerful digestive system." Either way you look at it, Baby Ruth Day '97 was a success. At that moment, I wasn't just a lifeguard wearing a towel anymore, but I had REALLY become SuperTodd, and became a hero to these kids.


	2. Perfect Sense

Perfect Sense

Some people have asked why I parade around as SUPERTODD like I do. Some just wonder why I am so obsessed with it. I work to make people smile. A smile brings out the happiness inside a person, that might otherwise be suppressed. True, I could act like a total in adult, but where's the fun in that? Instead, I am SUPERTODD. But you want to know why. Well, if there is a reason, it is the children. They are my everyday excuse for acting the way I do. And for the adults, I look for the kids in them to bring out. But children are more innocent; adults have been distorted and can't be a kid for too long. They have to think. But when your inner child was what you think about, and live by, you're a basic shoe it. For all people who say they are good with kids, but have to think about it, or even say it, you're not good enough. I'm one of the few special that posses, and the only that act upon it. Kids might come to me for the fun, or because I give them power, or even because I understand them, but all I know is I recognize myself in every child's eyes.

I first met the Day care kids when I was to teach them swim lessons. That got cut short due to lack of water in out pool (don't you just love pool leaks). So I only had them for about three days. Two weeks later, our pool reopened. So, for the rest of the year, I played with the day care kids when I could. On the last day our day care was coming to the pool, we did the infamous Baby Ruth day, and a few days later the pool closed. Since day care had a few weeks to go, and I had some time off, I decided to go visit. I quietly stepped into the room where they were all gathered, and before I could take five steps, half of the day care kids surrounded me giving me hugs and pulling me this way and that. Of course, with 20 kids around you, it's kind of hard to move anywhere. I knew the kids had fun, but I didn't know I connected this well to them. This was an awesome end to the summer, and I knew then I was going to miss the kids.

The nest year gave me my favorite memory ever. That year, I did everything: Recreation leader, Day Care counselor, Umpire, Lifeguard, and I even taught a few swim lessons aside from my other morning program (man did the city use me a lot). I almost didn't return as a lifeguard, but I am glad I did. Here's why: Although I worked at a different pool, I got to sub one week at my old pool. They all knew me and the SUPERTODD reputation, so it was understanding they let me work a few days at my favorite place in the pool: the baby pool. On one of the afternoons I worked in the baby pool, there were two little girls aged about 2 and 4. For most of the time we were there, we played with my toy balls and they even blew my whistle a few times (kids simply love to do those). But the one thing these two girls REALLY wanted to do was to go down the slide. I told them and their moms that I would take them down the slide when the baby pool closed, because I was the only person that would do it anyways. So later that day, I took them one at a time up the slides. The younger one decided to take a test run by herself before I could stop her (very anxious, very brave, very naive). Good thing there was someone to catch her at the bottom. As I took the older one down the slide, she was on my lap holding on to me very tightly. I could feel her tense up right when we left. We hit the water and she loved the whole ride. Then I asked if they wanted to go on the other slide we had. I took the younger one up first, and went down with her this time. She had a blast. Next I took the older one up, and she got back on my lap. This time she didn't hold on as tight, not as I expected. This slide was much smaller, but much faster, but she didn't know that. We crashed into the water, and she loved it all.

I happened to have tied on my towel on right after that, and got myself a drink. I was up front talking when the girls and their moms were leaving. As they stepped out, I saw the older girl with her towel tied on just like I had mine. But hugs make things all the more special. I've had junior lifeguards before, but this time was different. It was too cute, too touching, it was brining a tear to my eye. Aside from my SUPERTODD hat, they had no idea who I was (other than a lifeguard), and I had never seen them before. Maybe it was the slide, but part of us was in each other. It was apparent I had communicated with her, although she didn't say much.

These are only a few of the thousands of examples of reasons why SUPERTODD lives. It's not that I have to, but the tear-jerking scenes like these make me want to. And its not just at the pools any more. I have kids at the recreation center I work at wanting me to constantly swing them around (they form lines). Even at school when I baby sit for a friend. SUPERTODD lives and breathes because he's believes in, just like Santa and the Easter Bunny. It should all make perfect sense that as long as someone believes in me, in SUPERTODD, I will carry on.


	3. Dear Santa

DEAR SANTA

(as translated from the scribbling of a 6 year old girl)

Dear Santa

My name is Lisa and I am 6 years old. I have been a very good girl this year, and I only ask for one thing. A kitty licker for my sister Bre. Her kitty broke a leg, and now is getting all dirty because its not getting used right. So now its got this funnel looking brace thingy to support it, so it doesn't do anything more. If you get me anything, this is what I want.

Love Always,

Lisa

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(ring, ring, ring, ring) "Hello, you have reached the answering machine of SuperTodd. I cannot come to the phone right now, for I am probably out saving the world, or playing, or something cool like that. Please leave your name, number, and some message after the beep, and I'll call back as soon as I finish my Kool-Aid. Thanks! BEEP!"

"SuperTodd… where are you… SuperT? Dang it. SuperTodd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. Dang, I guess I missed you. This is Santa Claus calling. I have to ask you a BIG favor, so if you could, call AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS at—"

Yeah, I'm here. I just stepped in. I was out playing with the Kool-Aid machine. You know, it makes more that Kool-Aid. What do you need?"

"Um, I need you to help me or Christmas will be forever ruined."

"..And I'd be doing what?"

"You'd be doing me a HUMONGOUS favor."

"Dude, cut to the point, what do you need me for?"

"Umm… I can't tell you over the phone. Hop on Rudolf, I'll tell you when you get here. He's right outside. Oh, and don't feed him the wrong candy this time!" Click.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Right when I hung up, Rudolf was outside my door, so I grabbed my stuff and we flew straight to the North Pole. We got there in a flash. From there, Santa explained to me that Bre needed her kitty licked. My first question was "how old is she?" Santa said she was 18, and then I replied with "well, I'm your man! What does she look like?" He responded with "What does that have to do with finding a kitty licker?" I told her I wasn't going to do it if she unless looked good, so he showed me a picture of a cat (with some neck brace on). He also told me that although my stomach muscles might be strong enough, and I can do Baby Ruth day everyday, I'm couldn't do this one. Since I am dressing as Santa, it wasn't the Santa Claus image, so I didn't ask anymore questions.

My assignment was to go out and find a kitty licker. Santa didn't; know where or how this was going to be done, but that's why he got me. He explained that with a genuine wish like this, it must be granted. It was not a selfish wish, and came from a genuinely good person. And since the elves don't make anything like this, it had to be found. Santa, himself, couldn't do it, since he deals with toys only. Plus he couldn't leave home this close to Christmas (being that night). Plus, he only has one night he came leave the North Pole, or else he becomes very sick, and dies. That's where I came in. So I got my Santa suit, the rest of my stuff, hoped on Rudolf, and we headed back to Wichita, where the girls lived too.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I told Rudolf to head to Broadway.

"Why?" He asked.

"Ho-Ho-Ho!" I exclaimed.

"I know that is Santa's catch phrase, but why are we going to Broadway?"

"Ho-Ho-Ho!"

"You just said that! Alright, hold on. Let's start over. Where do you want to go?"

"Broadway."

"Why?"

"Ho-Ho-Ho!"

"AAAHHH!! Let's try this again. What are we looking for?"

"A kitty licker."

"And where are we going?"

"Broadway."

"And why are we going to Broadway?"

"Ho—"

"Ho-Ho. Yeah, yeah. I got that." Rudolf was catching on! "Maybe if we go from a different angle. What does Santa always say ever Christmas?"

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

"Right, now—wait! That's not what you've been saying. You've been Ho-ing all this time. Listen, Santa has us looking for a kitty licker, and you have us on Broadway. What's it with you and Broadway? You know it's not safe here. Cops are all over the place. What if they saw a skinny freak lick you dressed as Santa, on top of a glowing animal like me? Don't you think they will arrest you and throw me in an animal shelter? So for the last time… WHY BROADWAY?!?"

"Ho-Ho-Ho!"

"You and your Ho's."

"See that guy over there." I said, pointing. "Let's go talk to him."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey man. I'm playing Santa, and this is Rudolf, as in the red-nosed reindeer. Anyways, can you help us out?" I asked the an, who was sharply dressed in flamboyant colors with the largest feather in his hat you'd think Big Bird went bald. He also had on him more gold chains than Mr. T!

"I'm Silky, the pimp. Whacha need on this fine night? I've got blondes, brunettes, reds, and they ever have hair on top of their heads too!"

"We're looking for a kitty licker." I said.

"Oh, so you like to watch, huh? Let me show you three of my best."

"Ho-Ho-Ho!"

"So THAT's what you have been saying all this time." Rudolf said. "Dude, they can't help us. We're talking about a pussy here… I mean a fe--. Something that goes 'meow'.. Shoot. We're talking about a dang cat!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. What did you think we were talking about?"

"Let's not get into that. This changes everything. Sorry Silky. I made a mistake. Gotta go, bye." And we began to go.

"Wait. I'll give you my Santa Claus special. 3 Ho's for the price of 1!" He yelled at us.

"I have my own 3 Ho's." I yelled back. "It's Santa's trademark. Ho-Ho-Ho!" And with that, we were out of sight.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Christmas was almost over and we hadn't found anything. I had given up and decided to go over to their house and tell the about the complications. But what we found when we got there were new complications. How was I supposed to get in? Rudolf said the chimney, but it was spitting out smoke. I wanted to knock on the front door, but Rudolf said tat wasn't the "Santa Claus image," and that I was to eat some of my magic candy, and jump down the chimney. This is the candy that was supposed to warm me in the North Pole (and made Rudolf go crazy), but wouldn't it make me even hotter going down a lit chimney? I ate some, held my nose, dove in, and came out the other end.. which happened to be occupied.

"Who are you?" She said.

"Todd, um.. SuperTodd? I'm a friend of Santa's."

"Sure you are. If you don't get out of here in 3 seconds, I'm going to call the police on you."

"No really, I am. I have Rudolf right outside." I went to the door, opened it, yelled for Rudolf, and we both came back in.

"No crap, that's Rudolf.. as in the red-nosed reindeer. I'm sorry, I believe you now. Are you ok? You look kinda hot."

"Hey, thanks, but I'm fine."

"No, I mean your towel, or what ever that is, a cape? It's on fire!" I turned to see my beloved towel ablaze. I quickly took it off, threw it on the ground, and performed what would otherwise look like a Mexican hat dance on it. Dang, I lost my cape.

"I'm – we're here to—we were supposed to fix you cat. It was the only thing your sister, Lisa, asked for. You are Bre, right?"

"Yeah, but she is fixed. We got that done when we first got her."

"No, I mean licked. We looked everywhere, and couldn't find a kitty licker."

"Did you check Broadway?"

"Wrong kind."

"We are talking about a pussy, right?"

"Of the animal... I mean he purring kind. Dang, I mean this thing rubbing against my leg."

"I'm sorry, I get lonely around the holidays. And when someone my age shoots down the chimney, I figure what does Mrs. Claus have on me?"

"No, the fuzzy thing."

"I'm not going to shave it!"

"At my ankle."

"I get REAL lonely."

"No, the thing with the tail."

"Oh, her. Her name is Lori, but we call her Booshebooboo (said Boo-She-Boo-Boo). Why are you here again?"

"I forgot, oh yeah. We were SUPPOESED to find a kitty licker of boo-boo there."

"Yeah, I like it when my kitty gets licked."

"Um, yeah. I'll not comment there. Anyways, we couldn't find one. But maybe, yeah. I'll leave you with some magic candy canes. I have some somewhere."

"Magic candy canes?"

"Yeah, they give you a nice warm feeling inside. Now I have some somewhere." I say, searching.

"What's that bulge right there, in your pants?"

"Um, nothing. That's not it. Trust me."

"Yeah it is!" And she quickly thrust her hand ion my pocket, and pulled out Rudolf's candy.

"That's mine," Rudolf said.

"What's over here?" And she begun just searching my pants. "That's not it.. nope, not here. That's kinda nice. Hey, this is warm.. What's this? Here it is!" She exclaims while pulling out the candy.

"Hey, wait. I have an idea." I took a bit of both our candy's, Rudolf's and mine, and combined them. "Do you have any Kool-Aid?"

"What for?" She said heading to the kitchen.

"Cos I'm thirsty. I have been out all night."

"What flavor you want?"

"What kinds do you have? Do you have Incrediberry?"

"Yeah, last one." And she quickly makes it.

"That givers me a better idea. Can you I get a bowl with some in it too?"

"What for, Rudolf?"

"Ok, 2 bowls then."

"Are you going to lap it up too?"

"Nah, you'll see." She gives me a glass, and the 2 bowls with the Kool-Aid in it. I quickly drink the glass and ask for a refill. I gave Rudolf a bowl, and put my mixture of Kool-Aid in the other. She returns with mine while I am hunched over summoning the cat. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty."

"Oh, so you're game then?" She asked?

"Not you, Boo-Boo."

"What for?"

"The other bowl is for her. It's magic candy, so maybe the magic will help us." The cat came and began to drink the candy laced Kool-Aid. Then she let out a horrible scream, and fell over.

"You killed my kitty!" Then it got back up and started to hobble around like Rudolf when he was high off the wrong candy. Then she began to float.

"Nah. She's just kinda drunk right now." She then began to twitch her back leg in air, which until now, was immovable. "Hey, it's working!" She somehow twitched off her little kitty cast, and paraded around when she landed. "See, it worked. I didn't kill your car." Then I took the funnel brace off, and she instantly began licking herself.

"Meow" she said.

"Thank you SuperTodd!" Bre said, and planted a huge kiss on me.

"Meow was thanks enough for me." I said, being semi-modest.

"Ok. Meow." And she kissed me again.

"You get too lonely, don't' you?" I said, after which I drank the rest of my Kool-Aid, and left.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So what did you get to lick the kitty?" Santa asked right as we landed.

"How'd you guess?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"It did it by itself."

"The pussy licked itself?"

"Yeah, that too."

"Seriously, what'd you do?"

"I gave it a small mixture of magic candy and Incrediberry Kool-Aid. She drank that and floated around a bit. After we got her off the ceiling, she began to walk. WE took the neck brace off, and she licked herself."

"No, really."

"I'm not kidding, ask Rudolf." I said, point at Rudolf, who was nodding his head. "I lost my cape too. It burned when I went down the chimney."

"Why didn't you use the door?"

"Rudolf said not to, it wasn't the "Santa image." I said, while Rudolf was off smirking about it.

"Ok. Here are some words of wisdom to remember for the future. When the chimney is ablaze.. GO IN THE FRONT DOOR!!


	4. Protection

Protection

Finally, a good song comes on the radio. Just as someone goes to turn the station, the Beatles "Here Comes The Sun" blares out the speakers, and it was more that just a song. X-rays and ultraviolet-rays were beating down hard on us. Now was not the time for work, now was the time for play. Quietly, Amber and I snuck into the guard room and closed the door. Voluptuousness exhumed her body as she unbuttoned the top button on her shirt, then moved on to the next, and then the next. Amber got stuck on the one after that, but she fiddled, but couldn't get it, so she went on to do the rest. But I was impatient, so I had to come over and tear the button off, then slowly, I brushed the shirt over her shoulders, until it fell on the floor, while she took my cape off and tossed it in a corner. Going down was next, but her zipper was stuck, making me almost tear her shorts right off, but I fixed it.. Zipper unstuck, I placed my hands around her legs, and sharply pulled down her pants until they hit her ankles. Having already taken the SuperTodd cape off, she tore off my shirt, leaving it nothing but a rag. Under us, towels were laid, because we didn't want the room to become sticky. Considerably nude, we laid there, side by side, until she mentioned she was thirsty. REALLY thirsty. Lunging forward, I reached for her drink, but she didn't want that. MY drink is what she wanted, so she pulled out my straw and begun to drink everything until it is all sucked dry. Eager for more, she had wait, but she didn't want to, so she keep sucking the last few remaining drops left, and then rolled back over. Kissing her heaving chest, her vibrant top played games with my eyes until she distracted the attention to what we were really there to do, so I pulled out the bottle from the bag, and got to work. I began rubbing all over her bare submissive belly, feeling her tremble as I drip all over her chest ever so gently and rub it in even gentler, until the point came when she wanted me to do it on her backside, so she rolled over for me, squealing with high ecstasy, where I straddled her to unlatch her top and massage every visible piece of flesh, where she squealed for joy while my hands were quivering with excitement, when suddenly I couldn't hold it anymore and squirted her all over her back and lathered every inch of her legs. She got up and rolled me over to do me, forgetting about her top, but quickly she fixed it. That pretty much ended the show for me. Plus, we were being called out to actually go back to work. Drudgingly, we collected our stuff, picked up our towels, put my cape back around my neck, and we headed back out under the sun. Out the doors we went, but since we both had just put suntan lotion on each other, we were set to go. What else did you think we were doing? You should be ashamed of yourself for thinking like that!


End file.
